Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Night Before Christmas at My House

[written for the Poets United Thursday Think Tank prompt: stockings]

The stockings aren’t hung.

It should be no surprise.
In today’s economy,
Santa has to downsize.

The Walmart shoppers
have slowed to a trickle.
If you’re not done by now,
you’re in a real pickle.

Jeff crashes in and out
to the front porch to smoke.
Jon groans:
“Trying to sleep
in this house is a joke”

In the living room Steph and Gord,
tucked in their bed,
watch dreams of a night’s sleep
die in their head.

Jeff’s back! Reaching for
the doorknob with glee.
Five dogs raise their heads:
“Oh, it’s time to go pee!”

Walking dogs in the dark,
I fall in the ditch.
This Christmas gig
can be a real b-tch!

Mother Hubbard arrives
to prepare the big feast.
How’ll she ever turn
lentils and beans
to Roast Beast?

Old Dog thinks he’s died
and gone straight to Dog Hell,
and his owner suspects
she has gone there as well.

Sixteen humans
are coming for dinner
and bringing eight dogs.
Someone’s a real winner!

I’m the old woman
who lives in a shoe.
We’ll have to hang ‘em on pegs
or else go somewhere new.

Two hundred inches
of rain falling down:
Here’s hoping Santa
and his reindeer don’t drown.

I can make it till Christmas
is over, I think,
especially if you pour me
one more little drink ;)


  1. Merry Christmas, my friend. It sounds like there will some great joy and laughter in your house.

    P.S. I'll have that little drink for you and send you, Pup and Jas good thoughts.

  2. hey, we'll have 8 not-so-tiny rain-dogs!

  3. Hahaha...this is priceless, Sherry...just brilliantly done!! A true Christmas story, at least in your world! I can picture it all so clearly, even the unfortunate incident of you falling in the something I would do. Good thing your sense of humour is may get lots of use this year...LOL.

    I know you're going to have an absolutely wonderful time with all the kids there! Enjoy every minute of the fun, and take lots of pictures to share with us.

    Whew...I need a drink just picturing it all! Bailey's anyone?

  4. Just finished making the Amaretto Slush for xmas party at my sister's house on the big day. It was hard not to make myself a tall one after wrapping gifts and other what not. I love your Christmas poem, it was easy to picture and I was laughing, except when you fell in the ditch. I winced and said ouch. It sounds like most normal family holidays and then we dream about the peace and quiet of normalcy.

    Hope your holiday is filled with good cheer, lots of laughter, and the warm hugs of children, and a bit of cold dog noses (they are so important).


  5. Thanks, kids. I had fun with it......Elizabeth, I stole falling in the ditch from one other two a.m. walking-the-dog scenario, a month ago. I couldnt see a thing, it was pitch dark, and when I fell in the ditch I didnt get hurt - but I got the giggles so bad I had trouble climbing out, and laughed all the way home:)

  6. YOU are a rig; I so enjoyed this one!
    It is almost one am and I'm still baking cookies... I won't be walking at 2am, but I have before!
    YOU are fun! Loved this it is sheer brilliance~ I laughed and admired your wit~ xXx Merry Christmas to you n' yours~

  7. Wonderful Sherry ..Really enjoyed this Christmas with you through your poem.
    Wish you a wonderful Christmas.

  8. ready, cheerful, and lovely...
    merry Christmas.

  9. Cheers! Sherry, and the best of the holidays to you!

  10. Fun poem - enjoyed it very much. Merry Christmas Blessings to you!

  11. Be vewwy vewwy afwaid....

    I'm kind of! :S

  12. the verification word was

    "inscrewy" perhaps appropro ;)

  13. Merry Christmas!!!!!! Funny poem.
    I liked the first stanza particularly.

  14. Merry Christmas to you, Sherry. I just love your sense of humor and this delightful Christmas poem!

  15. Loved your attitude.Wonderful play with your poem.I enjoyed it


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Thank you so much. I will be over to see you soon!