Saturday, May 19, 2012

A Bridge of Asses

At Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads, Kerry posted a Sunday prompt, whereby the clever can write a Tetractys, with a rhyme scheme I cant summon the brain power to replicate here. So I will try Option Two: to write free verse about The Bridge of Asses, a topic which sprang fully formed in my brain the minute I read the title.  It is actually to do with Euclidian geometry, and isosceles triangles, whereby the angles at the base equal one another. Not in my world.

They stand at intervals
along the Bridge of Asses:
the chauvinist,
the alcoholic con man,
the rageaholic
and the true love
who was, unfortunately,
also a commitment-phobe.

One of them wears
a scowl,
surveys the list of essential needs,
and crosses out feminine products
because a wife can always
"make do."
'"Women are for
cooking and cleaning,
and they're all crazy,"
he tells his ten year old son.
For certain, his wife
was crazy -
till she left him.

One wears
a large leather Mexican hat
and a  leer.
(Someone please hand him a beer.
And a match,
so he can burn down
her store
for the insurance money,
then split.)

The rageaholic
blames his rage
on his missing leg.
This begs for pity which,
after a time,
makes you want
to say "Get over it
and see what you have,
not what you lack"
but of course
you cant,
and soon 
he is lacking you, too.

The one who was
her one true love
was a beauty,
a pain-dark soul
who longed to fly.
She promised 
to love him forever,
and did.
But unfortunately
he could not be happy
with one woman
"when there are so many others
out there" he needed
to explore.

The angles
on each of these 
isosceles triangles
were never equal.
The one who felt
she was lacking
was not.
But it took a long stint
of being alone, and whole
and happy
to figure this out.

Okay, I admit I had fun with this. A poet's revenge: writing about them, later. (My ex never looked more horrified than the day I threatened to expose him in print:)) A caveat: I do know, personally, and have met and read about so many more very beautiful, compassionate, wonderful men. They are all married to Somebody Else. Go figure. But it is heartening to know that they exist.


  1. fun indeed:) the commitment phobe i happen to know intimately. they all have angles, for sure.

  2. While I am sorry for the personal experience you've had with these, I have to tell you, the idea of a Bridge of Asses, with this crew on it, had me howling. I know a few of them too!

  3. brilliant write, I thoroughly enjoyed this

  4. Nice write...I howl along with you and rejoice in your freedom and happiness ~

  5. I've definitely met a few of those least with a bridge you cross over and move on, beats being a doormat for sure. Nicely done, Sherry!

  6. Somewhere in the first few lines I began laughing ~ I still am!!

  7. Sherry,
    As soon as I figured out where you were going with this one, I started laughing! Fabulous idea! I can just picture all of those asses lined up on the bridge and you reading them the riot act! Well done!

  8. I think most of us have tried to cross that bridge when we came to it, but all the $$#@!!# asses got in the way!

  9. Ingenious use of the form and I am applauding and laughing. Well done, lady!

  10. Just top marks for ingenuity, Sherry: what a bunch of unsure-footed asses you have lined up here!

  11. Write what you know and you can't go wrong. Brilliant job Sherry. I'm glad you made it over the bridge. :)

  12. Better off without any of them! Well said! Well rid :)

  13. A biting romp through the dark side of relationships. Somehow the stereotype thumbnails seem like comical caricatures of serious asses! May they "hee haw" their way to oblivion! (I have know a few too well!) Keep smiling on your bridge!

  14. Think I could add one or two to this list as well. Great!

  15. Love your approach to the prompt, Sherry. I'm familiar with that bridge, too, if you know what I mean. = )

  16. Hee hee, my pen is growing barbed in my old age! I had fun with this one. I, too, can see their sorry asses, lined up on the bridge. This gal got too late smart!

  17. This is so funny:

    "For certain, his wife
    was crazy -
    till she left him"

    "could not be happy with one woman
    when there are so many others
    out there he needed to explore" ... a pain-dark soul is typically like that; we find that out the hard way :)

    I like your ending:
    "But it took a long stint
    of being alone, and whole
    and happy
    to figure this out"

    Great job, Sherry.

  18. I love it...
    It is a huge bridge, I fear! I know a few, their barbs inflicts our souls with doubt. Wonderful write with so much conviction and passion~

  19. Well, for sure you've "burned all of your bridges" now, Sherry!

    ...the one who felt she was lacking was not...

    That describes your metamorphosis in a nutshell. It sounds like a triumph!

  20. I wish everyone could find that someone...and not just that someone for a short time but that forever someone...It tastes better when you share....everything. Great writing.

  21. Thank you for this funny but all too real experience. As I read it, I found myself sort of chanting, "Oh yeah, I remember him, and him, and yes that one too!" Good to know that we all can get smart eventually.


  22. Sherry, Sherry, Sherry, if you didn't mean this to be funny in a been-there-done-that kinda way, I'm sorry, but this is great stuff. All the men I wish I'd never met.

  23. perfection!!! i almost fell off the sofa laughing!

    i knew those types of guys my entire life and had given up on love. then i was taken completely by surprise when a truly wonderful man fell in love with me, and i with him... when i was 59! it's never too late!

  24. Awesome! This line lingers:
    "For certain, his wife
    was crazy -
    till she left him."

    I married that man, once. Got out in time. Thanks to the grace of second chances, my bridge is much more balanced these days, and the view is spectacular.

  25. Your exes and my exes probably are in the same clubs - great write! The good ones are out there, imperfect and yet so much more too. Takes some searching to find them, and it gets tiring doesn't it? Like sorting trash looking for treasures (eh wot could I be thinking of a new poem? :-))

  26. I love how this begins in a similar way to those old jokes about three guys who walk into a bar. I think I know that Bridge of Asses... a few of my exes are regulars.


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