Monday, July 1, 2013
Canada Day, eh?
You know you're in Canada when:
everyone says "eh"
you step on someone's foot or bump them
with your grocery cart
in a store, and they say, "Oh, I'm sorry"
monster trucks on tires the size of
your average bear, and their loud cohorts,
the ATV's, rev and scream around your campsite,
boom boxes blasting,
as they "enjoy the great outdoors"
moose antlers, or their replicas, are affixed
to those same trucks
bumper stickers say "Hug a logger -
you'll never go back to trees!"
and "my other vehicle is a broom"
"Beautiful B.C". signs are affixed
to the roadside
right next to the clearcuts
you see someone sitting for hours
in front of a hole in the ice,
and they think it's entertaining
hockey is happening somewhere, as we speak
on Canada Day night, you can't be sure if it's fireworks
or firearms going off, and you're not about to stick your
head outside to find out
you don't know if it is wild wolves or your neighbors
out there, howling at the moon
you come out of the Wickaninnish Restaurant and
find a bear in the backseat of your car, polishing off
the leftover Tim Horton's doughnuts
everyone you meet, no matter what their ancestral heritage, tells you, "I'm so glad that I'm Canadian, eh?"