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I got stuck on a reef in the tunnel of love,
and this is why love didn't last.
So busy bailing, love blew right past, .
stuck on a reef in the tunnel of love.
Charted my way in by the North Star's glow,
but lost my way when the light dimmed low.
Got stuck on a reef in the tunnel of love,
and this is why love didnt last.
[I tried my hand at a triolet,
I dont think I've quite caught on yet.]
Ha, sometimes the Tunnel of Love has a lot of pitfalls! Fun poem, Sherry.
ReplyDeleteYay! A triolet! I'm so happy to see you tried your hand at this form, Sherry. Each line is superb and your repeating line carries the reader along. Blast those reefs and leaky boats!
ReplyDeleteTHAT was not a dream ... though we were much much younger. I remember smooching in the Tunnel of Love.
ReplyDeleteLove the metaphor!! And kudos on the triolet!!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy this visual, Sherry, "Charted my way in by the North Star's glow"
So beautiful!
Thank you for writing!
Good shot at the triolet, pal. I love form challenges, but am hesitant about trying them on my own. Okay, more than just hesitant...absolutely cowardly.
ReplyDeleteWell done (and I know about that reef).
K
Lovely form, the repetition makes this a happy loss, almost.
ReplyDeleteMe too! I remember that ride. As I recall, they were tubby little vessels with big rubber bumpers. Either that, or at least three of us are blithely bobbing along in a common ether. Thank you for the introduction to a triolet--I love learning about new forms.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is rhythmically cohesive, fluid and comically perceptive about the perils of love.
Great triolet..the repetition is so effective!
ReplyDeleteloved every bit of it:)
ReplyDeleteI don't remember ever being in a tunnel of love. But your poem made me think that hopefully life is our tunnel of love.
ReplyDeletenice, Sherry! i love the triolet form.
ReplyDeleteI've got the perfect tune for that, what a wonderful poem
ReplyDeleteLove the image and where you took it. And loved the new form, it works well with your sense of humor. This was fun to read.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/06/02/awakening-a-body-once-living/
The tunnel of love can lead to lots of fun experiences. And it's all the more fun when two young hearts find the time for it. Nicely Sherry!
ReplyDeleteHank
LOL..I think the triolet worked well At least you gave it a shot...more practice that's what's needed:)..the love thing not the triolet:)
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed it! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteMadeleine Begun Kane
I think your triolet works... and yes, that's how I remember the tunnel of love rides too:-)
ReplyDeleteThere are so many reef to get stuck on and most of us get hung up on them and let love pass by.
ReplyDeleteHi Sherry! Yes, I remember those rides, always on water--reefs are a real hazard :-) enjoyed your triolet!
ReplyDeletewell I just loved it Sherry :)
ReplyDeletei think it's cute and clever, especially that you wrote off a prompt.
ReplyDeleteYour humor makes it so fun to read!
ReplyDeleteLoved it
:D