Monday, September 2, 2019

Wild Woman Fairy Tale

Wild Woman once was a damsel
who mistakenly thought
she was in distress,
with no prince to scale the castle walls 
or slay a dragon for her.

She thought Heathcliff was
the most romantic figure ever:
the moors, the angst, the ghosts
clawing at the window.
"Sign me up," she prayed,
heart beating pitter-pat.

She waited hopefully for a time,
till eventually a Questionable Suitor
stumbled across the doorstep,  
and rang the castle bell. 
She surveyed this drooping, surly creature, 
leaning against the doorjamb,
picking his nails,
with some dismay. 
But he was the only one who came
so, with a mental shrug, she let him in.
Maybe he was Heathcliff,
disguised as a Slightly Irritable Ingrate?

She set to work.
She had to machete a way 
through the thicket of thorns
to clear a path for him.
She had to challenge the fiery dragon,
while the Prince hid, quaking,
pretending he was busy
Attending to Business
with his six-pack.
Then he accused her of
“trying to wear the pants.”

Pretty soon she grew weary 
of hunting wild beasts for two,
tired of dragging them back to the fire 
to skin and roast,
tired of serving the meal
and cleaning up 
all the blood and gore.
Bad-tempered men no longer
seemed romantic; they were
curmudgeons who resisted
available happiness.
She could play them a love song;
but they would never hum along.
Let's leave them to their dark, angsty moors.

I Can’t Get No
Appreciation”, she hummed,
a crooked eyebrow lifting
as she saw a portal opening
in her mind.

She banished Prince Cedric
to the Land of Men,
became a vegan,
fortified her turret
with a stack of good books,
surveying her new life with pleasure.
With her two black guard-wolves,
she roasted some marshmallows 
in the fire to celebrate,
then retreated to the tower
to survey her own
Perfectly Peaceable Kingdom.

313 words for my prompt at Real Toads: moors, castle ruins, the faint tinkle of a piano...........tell me a tale in poetry or prose, in 313 words or less!


  1. If ya meet this hero on the road, great him with a fart and leave him in the wind! Such things the wizened heart understands. The myth is true, only we don't know at the outset that the quest is ever within ... I don't think I can write a 313 word comment, much less poem. Is that how much can fit somewhere? Anyway, look forward to reading the tales today while Hurricane Dorian shambles by hopefully far enough offshore.

  2. I loved the poem you wrote, Brendan, however many words it was, and hope you stay safe through the monster storm.

  3. This is such a heartfelt and gorgeous poem, Sherry!!❤️ I loved reading and re-reading it.

  4. The best princesses always save themselves. Sometime they can get lucky, and find a prince who wants to be part of the battle. But it's always best to grab the machete and start hacking. Besides, if we do that, we don't have to share the glorious books in the castle.

  5. Real Princesses save themselves. I love this poem! Good for you, good for the princess.

  6. Oh I like this, Sherry. To think I almost lived a life like this. Your rescue by Questionable Suitor and the princess reminded me of a couple we met in Key West. She hadn't dumped her Questionable Suitor yet. I wish your couple had not parted either,

    1. Nice you were exactly 313 words. I might should have added nine more to my previous post, the Horror Poem to have had 313 back there.

  7. Sadness and strength all in one. Sadly peaceable kingdoms are often hard to achieve. Being a princess is not all roses either but fortunately if we are lucky we get what we want in the end (with a great choice in protectors).

  8. The real hero is never the prince, but the queen who finds a better way than to care for the good-for-nothing parasite she's been stuck with.... good work

  9. "She could play them a love song;
    but they would never hum along.
    Let's leave them to their dark, angsty moors."

    Honestly, a life lived without a husband doesn't mean failure - it is about how you fill your time - and I think the ending sounds perfect! :)

  10. Love, Love, Love this, Sherry! Your Perfectly Peaceable Kingdom sounds delightful.

  11. I also had a crush on Heathcliff... I'm sure he is responsible for falsifying my expectations!


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