Maxine's creator is John Wagner
Wild Woman's disability is
she wishes she were cool,
but finds herself most often cast
as Ms Magoo, the happy fool.
Teetering at the cliff-side,
others clutching at her cape,
"Look at all the pretty stars!"
she cries, eyes and mouth agape.
Down she goes! Vexatious rocks!
A branch has hung her by her socks.
She mimes she planned to slide the cliff :
I'm fine. It's really fun. As if.
There's a sign up ahead.
It's too bad she can't see.
The folks below are shocked to see
Wild Woman flying free.
A Ms Magoo kinda heart,
in a benign world ever funny,
Wild Woman cannot see the grey.
She keeps her blue skies sunny.
Now she's out in the orchard
dancing - skip skip skip -
there's many a sorry stumble twixt
the high-step and the flip.
Follow fools into the meadow.
Let's all hoot at the owl,
dance with the chickens,
both fair-weather and fowl.
Smiling grimly 'top the steering wheel
and blinded by the light:
"Officer, I'm not impaired,
I just don't have much sight."
Wild Woman rarely drives at night,
because she knows she's blind.
Thank God the policeman
was Canadian, and kind.
Each little touch of pixie dust
gets followed by an "ouch!"
I think it's safer keeping
Wild Woman on the couch.
A funny poem from January 2018 to share with the Poetry Pantry at Poets United on Sunday. Come join us!