Tuesday, September 13, 2011

My First Pantoum

[image from aarp.org]



What is this grief
that lives, so light, within?
I cannot find a reason,
yet my daylight has turned dim.

Grief lives, so light, within,
I barely sense its presence,
yet my daylight has turned dim.
All is not right, within.

I barely sense grief's presence
wisping through my down-turned heart.
All is not right within.
I have no wisdom to impart.

Wisping through my down-turned heart,
are memories without a name,
I, lacking wisdom to impart,
nor understanding what to blame.

Memories without a name
I cannot find through veil so thin,
nor understanding what to blame.
What is this grief, so light, within?


Notes: I have been very intrigued by the pantoum form I have seen on some of the poetry sites. Especially Kerry O'Connor's pantoums at Skylover, and Marian's at runaway sentence, whose pantoums have a marvellous flow. I like the rhythm and the repetition of the lines. Since I have been a bit subdued of late, and my muse uninspired, I decided to set myself the task of writing one this morning, to see what would happen. I did manage one, of sorts, though I took some liberties. It is far from inspired, but at least I have written something. I would love to find some really lovely lines and try again. It could happen!

9 comments:

  1. oh sherry! this is so smooth... i love this form and you've really short-changed yourself calling it uninspired. it's interesting, lyrical, moody, all good things.
    and it makes me wanna write another one. such a cool form. good work!! xoxo

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  2. I hope you are inspired to write more, this is lovely.
    Maybe you are a little down but, your creativity is still flowing. Your mood too, will lift soon.

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  3. This is a wonderful pantoum, Sherry. Never sell yourself short.

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  4. I really enjoyed the lyrical tone that you captured! I need to give this a try~ I agree your creativity is still in full flow xXx

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  5. Have learnt about this form and re-reading the poem, I totally enjoyed it. It is so lyrical.

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  6. This is so well done, Sherry. Followed the form without apparent constraint to message or intent. Lovely.

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  7. What I especially love about your pantoum, Sherry, is the way you have changed up the recurring lines. When i wrote my first pantoum, I repeated the lines verbatim which I found rather pointless. A slight change can alter meaning just enough the keep the poem moving forward.

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