Where there was something and suddenly isn't
- a beach, a forest, the song of the surf,
the crash of waves on shore,
sunset sinking below the horizon,
running through the wild world
with a big black laughing dog -
absence becomes a presence
that fits into a corner of our hearts.
Heart walls expand to make room
for the memories, watered with tears,
that come, unbidden, at random moments.
There is an ache, a missing, that feels
almost as strong as the presence did,
for we are remembering Joy
from a place of less-than-joy.
We are remembering love
from a place of loss-of-the-beloved.
We are remembering companionship
and feeling the pining of our solitary soul.
Where there was something and suddenly isn't
we have to work hard to
remember gratitude, recognize enough-ness,
look up at the sky and trail
the eagle's flight with our eyes,
seek out riversong or a place of salt and sea.
We somehow learn to make a space for sorrow
inside our aching chests,
and place our love and remembering there,
glad that we recognized joy
and fullness of soul when we had it,
though everything after has been muted,
tinted grey and sepia,
compared to those golden,
radiant, long-gone wild
wilderness days
that will never,
will not ever
come again.
The two italicized lines are from Naomi Shihab Nye's poem Burning the Old Year .
Sharing this at What's Going On, where Sumana's prompt on Wednesday is Memory / Remembering.
Yes, there is the missing...the deep missing of what used to be. The remembering and the pining are a reality. But, as you so wisely point out we do also have to have gratitude. Not always easy, but it is integral.......
ReplyDeleteThough we should give thanks, gratitude each and every day ... Thanksgiving is here to instill an increased awareness of our blessings. Thank you Sherry.
ReplyDelete"absence becomes a presence
ReplyDeletethat fits into a corner of our hearts" I know these, as you say so powerfully!
"We somehow learn to make a space for sorrow
inside our aching chests,
and place our love and remembering there . . . ." I am aching with this amazing poem.
Memories will always be watered with tears even the happiest ones. Sad truth you've captured with beauty.
ReplyDeleteabsence becomes a presence
ReplyDeletethat fits into a corner of our hearts... this is so true... how do we make place for sorrow inside our hearts... like a permanent resident? Such deep rumination, Sherry.
Remembering Joy from a place of less-than-joy, captures it. You have reached a beautiful, bittersweet depth with this one, Sherry.
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh Sherry ... "Where there was something and suddenly isn't" has ever there been an aching question that so perfectly described the pain of loss? I think not. Every line in this poem shimmers and resonates. I would love to hug you - hard.
ReplyDeleteSherry,
ReplyDeleteyour poem resonated with me very much.
You wrote these words, "absence becomes a presence"..so very true and an explanation for me, understanding this painful thing about remembering and memories.
You have articulated so much through your words in this superb poem..Thank you :)
Being a natural clinger to memories who grew up in cling-to-memories country, I sometimes remind myself that we keep forming new memories and might as well make the best of those too.
ReplyDeleteOne year I was nostalgic about my husband while I was with Mother and some Nephews, and now I'm nostalgic for Mother and the children those Nephews used to be.
" absence becomes a presence
ReplyDeletethat fits into a corner of our hearts."....It wasn’t until years, that I, as an adult, I learned the true poignancy of time. In turn, the gaps are constructed: where something used to be, where something should be, where something isn’t anymore.Great writing, Sherry.
Yes, we knew what we had when we had it, or for you and me, when we had them. Our furchildren. I adore my Zacky, but as you know, Sunny and Bosco are my Number Ones, as Pup is yours.
ReplyDelete