Friday, September 18, 2020

Ten Years Gone


This collage was created for me by  Steve,
The Unknown Gnome,
now sadly no longer with us.

I feel it coming, this poem
I will birth
on the ten year anniversary
of your passing from this earth.
So close to tears, I realize, of course, it is you.
Just how much, how long, I'd miss you,
back then I never knew.

Like a burrowing owl,
you have lodged in my heart,
a prickle-burr that hurts,
from which I do not want to part.
You live there, night and day,
in a corner labeled Grief.
From the missing and the being-gone
there is no relief.

Ghost voices whispering on the wind,
and wolf howls in my dreams,
you look right into my sad heart;
your wolf-eyes gleam.

The barn owl says to light the lamp
on the windowsill for you.
But how will you find me in this place
that was never home to you?

I'm homeless in the universe,
alone, without you
and I fear you're out there somewhere,
feeling homeless too.
Lead me back, wolf-spirit,
to the land we loved together.
I will walk there again
as we did in any weather.

When I can hear the rhythm of
the turning of the tides,
my spirit may still find a home
once more, where peace abides.
Maybe your ghost shadow
will accompany the hours
as I walk forever beaches that,
for a time, were ours.

*** *** ***

I went to bed and slept, and then they came:
four beautiful, white, snowy wolves
who already knew my name.
The first came close -
oh, the beauty of her face!
pushed a friendly nose towards me,
as I stood still, accepting,
but respectful of her space.
We were at the beach, the wolves and I.
A visitation from the spirit-world
of the not-alive,
and from deep within my spirit,
which needs both wolves and ocean waves
to thrive,
because it has never been enough
simply to survive.

The barn owl called sleepily
in the early light to wake me.
Four white wolves live within me now,
never to forsake me.

And you?
big, black, laughing, hilarious
creature of the dawn?
You're in my heart
forever now.
You are never
fully gone.

Hard to believe it has been almost ten years and I still miss him so much. I accept this is a permanent condition. We were soulmates. When I wrote this the first time, I was living at my sister's where Pup never visited. I wondered how his spirit would find me. It is not the anniversary of his death today, but I felt the need to share it with the fine folk at Earthweal. 


  1. Old griefs are coming up for me now too. I love the way you bring resolution in your final verse. You are right, our dearest loves are forever in our hearts.

    How wonderful to have the wolves visit in a dream. I haven't had a wolf dream in years. They are profound teachers -:Suzanne

  2. It doesn’t have to be an anniversary to think about your beloved Pup, Sherry. My little Jasper has been gone over twelve years and I still miss him too. I love the simile ‘Like a burrowing owl, / you have lodged in my heart’. A beautiful tribute.

  3. This brought a tear to my eye. I love the second part where the wolf-spirits came to visit you and brought you some peace in your grief. You really brought Pup to life with your words.

    1. Sherry, sorry I forgot to add my name to the comment - Ingrid

  4. Thank you for sharing this Sherry. Your dream is definitely confirmation of the wolf spirit within you and in your memory. Pup will always be with you. What a beautiful connection.
    (BTW - I've tried fixing my post in blogger. I reposted to earthwheel. Hope it works.)

  5. So touching, Sherry! So many wonderful memories. So much sadness in the missing.

  6. This is a heartfelt tribute to your soul mate. hugs


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