Poetry, memoir,blogs and photographs from my world on the west coast of Canada.
Saturday, November 24, 2018
Life, Like a Loping Camel
The days sift by dreamily,
but the weeks snap past like a zipline,
me upside-down and pulled along
too swiftly
into my old age.
My steps are slow and hobbling,
yet somehow
it is always Another Friday,
and another week
has passed.
Not like a field mouse,
hidden in the grass,
but rather a loping camel,
life gallops on:
too fast, too fast, too fast.
For Kim's prompt at Real Toads: And the days are not full enough.
My original last line was: "whipping my sorry ass", which I changed in the interests of poetic sensibilities. LOL. The field mouse is from Ezra Pound's poem, quoted in the prompt.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Oh I so agree that ‘weeks snap past like a zipline’ and so have the last couple of days! I also feel like I’m being pulled towards old age while I’m slowing down. That’s a great image you’ve conjured of life as a camel (whipping your sorry…) Sherry!
ReplyDeleteIMO, it's MUCH better as "too fast." The other way it would be merely goofy; this way it's, as you say, poetic.
ReplyDeleteThere is lots of goofy in my world. LOL. Sometimes it slips out.
DeleteIndeed, too fast and just as lumpy. And every now and again, it spits in your eye.
ReplyDeleteToo fast... yet sometimes it seems to me like days are stumbling more than floating... definitely not a field mouse for me either.
ReplyDeleteso true! thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteToo fast and sometimes it feels like life is slipping by ... a most poignant and beautiful poem, Sherry!❤️
ReplyDeleteIsn't that so?! Days have such a dreamy quality to them but the weeks and the months seem to be passing by so swiftly. A lovely poem, Sherry, which made me smile. And I love, love your original last line, poetic sensibility or not. Ha! :-)
ReplyDeleteSherry, the thought of you on a zipline has me giggling, but what you say is so very true!
ReplyDeleteI like your revised last line better, actually – and not because of prudishness; it just gallops along so nicely, in keeping with what you say. And I love the loping camel.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing to me how quickly time is passing, especially the older I get. Beautifully written Sherry.
ReplyDeleteslow days, but fast weeks. I get that. Time is very funny that way.
ReplyDeleteI relate to this poem so much, with the days drifting by slowly, but the weeks whipping by faster than I can blink.
ReplyDeleteI like both endings, but I agree with you; the one you chose was more poetic.
Wonderful, Sherry. I should adopt your poem. (I'm older than you.)
ReplyDelete..
whipping mine, too :)
ReplyDeletePerfect and funny. Love life's zip line image.
ReplyDeleteI really like this one, Sherry!
ReplyDeletewhipping my sorry arse is better:)You're right...It's always Friday...if you find out why time is speeding on faster than normal,could you please let me know:)
ReplyDelete