The worst fire of all,
still troubling my heart,
unbearable,
your big, vibrant, noisy body
going into the flames,
your spirit's confusion.
Guilt: my decision,
because I needed you with me
and there was no other way.
Ice cold and horrible,
the moment she handed you back to me,
reduced to ashes
in a small take-out box.
I carry you now
forever in my heart,
your thumping tail
causing smiles and tears,
joy and pain.
You always were a spirit
too big to kill.
for Kerry's prompt at Real Toads: Fire and Ice. Also to be shared with the Poetry Pantry at
Poets United, where there is good reading every Sunday morning. When Pup died, almost eight years ago, Annell Livingston wrote a poem about him, titled "A Spirit Too Big To Kill". She got it right.
Those closing two lines say it all. The middle section is very hard to read.
ReplyDeleteI feel this one, Sherry, with my Jasper's ashes cold in a box.
ReplyDeleteFire and ice transmute to eternal stuff but grief keeps their touch yet savage. Maybe eternity was not meant for us.
ReplyDeleteThis is so heart-wrenching, Sherry. I can feel the pain of loss in your words.
ReplyDeleteFire and ice emotions of joy and pain so well expressed - a tear jerker; Sherry
ReplyDeleteHave a blessed Saturday
much love...
That fire consuming all... and the ice it leaves....still I feed that there is a warmth that can't be killed.
ReplyDeleteThis poem saddened me greatly, Sherry. I know how you miss your sweet boy. He will be forever in your heart, I know, and one day you will meet again.
ReplyDeleteSo sad. They handed me back all of my cats, one by one, in a nice tin, sealed. I miss my babies and I know you miss your boy. Some pains always break apart and bleed.
ReplyDeleteah, pup. Like you, I love dogs more than most people ~
ReplyDeleteSuch wonder and love for man's best friend fondly missed!
ReplyDeleteHank
Warmth of love and the icy touch of loss coexist in life. Sigh. Thank god for the memories.
ReplyDeleteSo strongly felt, it pierces my heart too.
ReplyDeleteStunning -last two lines perfect!
ReplyDeleteI've had this same scenario with my lovely dog, Jasper, and my beautiful cats, Max and Tosca. I read your poem with a trembling lip, Sherry, especially:
ReplyDelete'Ice cold and horrible,
the moment she handed you back to me,
reduced to ashes'
and
'You always were a spirit
too big to kill'.
It is always heartbreaking when you lose a pet but far worse when the circumstances are horrifying.
ReplyDeleteSo well expressed..the all consuming fire and the icy remnants... a terrible loss for which you have found enduring words.
ReplyDeleteA sad poem well done.
ReplyDeleteI still feel that way when I look at my Faye's ashes. She was a runt of a corgi but she had such a big spirit. Funnily enough, today is the anniversary of the day we brought Kit home.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is so poignant! Very touching and beautifully expressed. Loved the way you concluded...
ReplyDeleteLook at the picture. Look how happy he is, knowing how loved he is! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis really twists my stomach, Sherry.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking when I read this that t he fire is a big body that's noisy too, reminding me all things too powerful and spreading that we are engulfed in.
ReplyDeleteYes Sherry, despite the physical loss his spirit lives on in your heart just as strong and clear as ever and there is comfort in that glowing through the sadness - such a strong and honest write as always...
ReplyDeleteSad sad sad.It never goes away and Christmas brings situations like this to the surface again.How lucky are we who were blessed with such beautiful creatures who never took but gave happiness and love adding another dimension to our lives.
ReplyDeleteI do believe the spirit lives on long after the body is gone. There is sadness here, I lost a family member this week so I know the sadness.
ReplyDeleteWhen the heat of the loss gets too hot, remember you did what you had to to cool the flames of his pain. When the freezing loss gets to cold, warm your heart and his memories with the thought of his spirit running happily in the Summerland. He will always be. Always. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts. That's what I read here.
ReplyDeleteBest Wishes for a Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteThank you for dropping in at my Sunday Standard today.
From Dec 25 2017 to Jan 6th 2018. Lunch Break will be hosting its TENTH YEAR of The Twelve Days of Christmas with a Linky
Of Course you are invited
(✿◠‿◠)
much love...
Release the soul !
ReplyDeleteZQ
A difficult, but exquisite ode to your pooch.
ReplyDeletePoignant and powerful writing, Sherry. After reading the piece, I went back to the title ... it really completes it ... the vastness of the emotion here, that, I'm sure a thousand words couldn't adequately render unto mere paper. Such a loss for you.
ReplyDeleteLoved those last lines!!
ReplyDeleteIt's such a tough loss to bear. But the last two lines beautifully give something to hold on to.
ReplyDeleteSuch profound contrasts Sherry but the last line brings resolution that warms
ReplyDeleteYour words touch my heart. I am thinking it is as it should be. When we are given so much, it is not for us to forget. But to make a place in our hearts, and carry them with us forever. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteSuch a moving poem, so much love and loss expressed here. But yes...a spirit too big to kill. He will always be in your heart and memory.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad, though it is some comfort to know his spirit is huge, and remains with you. I feel like I couldn't bear that heartache, but I know time and memories help heal.
ReplyDeleteBitter with loss and sweet with memories forever held dear in your heart. I do hope you have a peaceful and healthy festive season with peace and light in your soul.
ReplyDeleteHow good to know someone too big to kill!
ReplyDelete