Friday, December 8, 2017

Christmas Cheer





The stockings aren't hung.
It should be no surprise.
In today's economy,
Santa has to down-size.


The Walmart shoppers
have slowed to a trickle.
If you're not done by now,
you're in a real pickle.

Jeff slams in and out

to the front porch to smoke.
Jon groans: "Trying to sleep
in this house is a joke!"

In the living room, Steph and Gord,

tucked in their beds,
watch their dreams of a night's sleep
die in their heads.

Jeff's back! reaching for

the doorknob with glee.
Five dogs raise their heads:
"Oh, it's time to go pee!"

Walking dogs in the dark,

I fall in the ditch.
Sometimes this Christmas gig
can be a real b*tch!

Mother Hubbard arrives
to prepare the big feast.
How’ll she ever turn 
lentils and beans
to Roast Beast?

Old Dog thinks he’s died
and gone straight to Dog Hell,
and his owner suspects
she has gone there as well,

For sixteen humans 
are coming for dinner
and bringing eight dogs.
Someone’s a real winner!

I’m the old woman 
who lives in a shoe.
We’ll have to hang ‘em on pegs
or else go somewhere new.

Two hundred inches 
of rain falling down:
Here’s hoping Santa 
and his reindeer don’t drown.

I can make it 'til Christmas 
is over, I think,
especially if you pour me 
one more little drink ;)



LOL. This is a tongue-in-cheek look at coping with the holidays. 

It is based on an actual Christmas our family had some years back, when there were half as many dogs as people, and I still lived in my sweet little trailer in the country. It was the best Christmas ever!

I don't actually advocate alcohol as a coping mechanism. But one little glass to soften the edges can definitely help. Smiles.


Am sharing this with the Poetry Pantry at Poets United on Sunday. Do come and join us.

27 comments:

  1. I still favor dogs over most people :)

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  2. Lover this light-heartedness! There are pros and cons of all celebrations....but dogs as company could definitely be one of the pros!!

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  3. Ha...Sooo enjoyed the spirit of the poem :)

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  4. raising that edge softening little glass to you Sherry.. cheers to you and that delightful run through nursery characters!!!

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  5. All our dogs had presents under the tree as well as the humans. They even sang car-yowls with us!

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  6. Christmas? What Christmas? Oh? Really? Two weeks? How did that happen?

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  7. This is some merry mayhem! Affright the old gods with raucous hoots. You have my applause!

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  8. I'd kind of love a holiday party surrounded by dogs. I'd probably hang out with them the whole time.

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  9. I love Christmas. This poem is great.

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  10. I love this!! Such a delightful poem, Sherry❤️

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  11. I'm sure you savored the sweet memories of that Christmas in your trailer as you wrote each line of this poem. Thanks for the smiles.

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  12. Funny. I think the determent is fire rather than water this year!

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  13. This gave me a serious case of the giggles. Thank you for that. Cheers!

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  14. You tell a real Christmas tale....with maybe too many doggy tails? The Best Christamas ever!!! I love it.

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  15. Having it in a crammed space must have added to the fun and joy as all were near at hand.

    Hank

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  16. This is wonderful... love the funny chaos in this poem. Remember chaos only once and especially the day after.

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  17. I enjoyed the tone and liveliness in this poem though it is predicting certain pandemonium in the celebrations as well as the hosts nervousness. Glad you had a good time though

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  18. Wishing you much cheer over the holidays!! Loved this Sherry!

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  19. I can see it all. A real Holiday zip-padee piece. I smiled and grimaced often. :)
    Christmas is in the air here.
    ZQ

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  20. A delightful poem..you made me smile...and one drink can take the edge off, Cheers!

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  21. Me thinks you need a little more Christmas cheer...though I will say, I was out at the store and way too many people still out there. The busyness bugs me.

    It did snow this weekend. All the fields look like iced oatmeal cookies. Pretty cold though.

    I will through santa a life preserveer.

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  22. Here's another side of Sherry! Surrounded by numbers of people/dogs, and just as loving all around! Happy holidays!

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  23. This is a treat. You've nailed the rhythm and rhyme here - and that is always much trickier than it appears at first pass ... especially if it is done this well (it can look so deceptively effortless). That cadence, of course, works wonderfully with the humorous content of the piece. In short, a brilliantly rendered satirical poem ... and hilarious as all-get-out, to boot.

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  24. Oh Sherry, this was such fun, and reminded me of Christmases past. My muse has been on vacation, so I'm looking forward to an evening of catching up!

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  25. Sherry, this was fun to read and I need a pair of those socks. I did some shopping this weekend and I think everyone has gone crazy.

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  26. You surely made me smile. Luv the new take of The Old Woman in The Shoe

    (✿◠‿◠)

    much love...

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I so appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Thank you so much. I will be over to see you soon!