Showing posts with label red riding hood re-visited. Show all posts
Showing posts with label red riding hood re-visited. Show all posts

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Granny Gets Regurgitated


by Illustrator Chris Petty,

or......Red Riding Hood, Re-Visited


Grandma isn't exactly looking in the pink today.
Sitting up in bed under her frilly cap
her eyes look.......voracious.
Hmmm.
Her long furry nose
--wait! fur?--
did she cancel her electrolysis appointment? --
whiffs the air.
Grandma licks her lips enticingly,
and grins a wolfish grin.
Her teeth! Ohmmmmmmmm my God!

Little Red stutters, "Er.........Grandma?"

Grandma's jaws open, 
a little too wide and welcoming.
Then she gets a funny look on her face.
(Could Grandma be incontinent?)
A furry paw lifts up to cover her lips
and she emits a tidy little "urp."

Oh no!
Granny's turning blue!

Little Red stands on the doorstep.
"Help? I think?"

"Stand back!" yells the manly woodcutter,
all swarth and brawn,
climbing into bed with Grandma.

What the frick?

Embracing Grandma from behind
(L.R. feels she shouldnt be looking),
he administers the Heimlich
and - Gott in Himmel! -
out pops.....

"Grandma!" shouts Little Red, vastly relieved
that nothing age-inappropriate had been going on.

The wolf-in-Grandma's-clothing sheepishly mutters,
"Thanks, man," to the burly woodcutter.
"What was I thinking?
My eyes were bigger than my stomach."

"Look, Grandma," pipes Little Red,
I brought you a basket of goodies."

"Yay!" says Grandma.
"Yum!" says the woodcutter.
"Let's chow down," says the wolf.

And so they do.

Mary has set us a fun prompt over at dVerse, where she is tending bar this weekend : to write about a well-known character, and to re-invent that character, putting them in an unusual situation, and tweaking the persona. As she offered the Big Bad Wolf as a possibility, my mind had fun with the idea. Hope it makes you smile. The prompt will post at 3 p.m. eastern, over at dVerse - be sure to check out the other offerings!!!!