For years I wandered aimlessly
up and down,
past all the pretty cottages
in the town
where happy people lived.
Oh, how I dreamed,
when I was on the outside
looking in,
that one day I would live,
like them, within.
I found a blackbird heart.
We loved each other true.
But, unused to being cherished,
knew not what to do
with all the feelings we kept
locked inside
through all the fear we tried
so hard to hide.
"And now you're inside
looking out", he said,
and it was true -
the cornerstone of my free spirit,
trapped and full of rue.
He could not say
He could not say
the words to make me stay.
So I took my broken heart
and walked away.
In the early 80's, I met the man who was The One. But we had five teenagers between us, who made it difficult to be together, as they were unhappy with the changes we caused in their lives. Because the kids were unhappy, and because he could not make the commitment I needed to feel secure in the relationship, and didn't know how to ask for it, I left. Within the next year or two, the older kids were gone anyway. I regret I didn't have the courage to stay. Yet it wasn't long until I flew up over the mountains and landed by the sea, so that was the soul journey that was meant to be.
Sherry, this is a very poignant and honest poem. For me, this is one of your best because it was written from the 'gut.' So hard to look back and think about what MIGHT have been....if only the words HAD been spoken.
ReplyDeleteOr if only he'd come with you...I loved a city boy once.
ReplyDeleteSome say, if women love men enough, they'll leave their homes for their men.
I say, if men deserve love, they'll not ask for that.
Very poignant poem. Blended families are an obstacle in many cases. Pleased you have found your niche and happiness now.
ReplyDeleteA friend once told me that we make decisions based on the information we have at the moment. If the day or hour changed or words were spoken a decision might be altered. This has helped me in the journey of regrets. I am happy you landed in your place of heart. A truly heartfelt poem.
ReplyDeleteThat 'if-only' hurts, even if life has opened other windows and found us better journeys...it remains bittersweet. You've expressed it beautifully in the poem ...I love "blackbird heart"
ReplyDeleteAh, the sad narrative that becomes a personal victory. I have a similar narrative without the five children. You managed to make the poem light with rhyme and a second part in prose! Love it!
ReplyDeleteIt felt like this poem wrote itself - there is a tenderness of memory, a flow of birdsong and a sense of flying high. I am glad you landed by the sea - Jae
ReplyDeleteA poem close to the heart Love lost and freedom gained
ReplyDeleteSilence can kill a relationship so irrevocably... Beautiful and touching poem, Sherry.
ReplyDeleteI am the victim of an unfaithful wife. We parted. Now she is staying with her fourth wife. Another lady found me after my three years of freedom. We've been married 53 years now. Answer? Perhaps being married young? Things we keep to ourselves.
ReplyDeleteA truly honest and heartfelt poem. Landing by the sea surely helped the gnawing regrets.
ReplyDelete