I Thought We Had Forever

 

Once he was a little boy, cloud-dreaming,

under a summer sky. A wolf-dog

walked beside him, along the trail, and I

thought that we had forever

as the seasons came and went,

thought grandmas always died first,

that that rule was heaven-sent.

He departed softly as a dove

without a single cry,

leaving us to mourn the loss -

his heartbreaking goodbye.

We laid you to rest under a November sky

filled with the clouds you watched,

summer-dreaming on the lawn.
Your brother sang your favourite song.

We can't believe

that you are gone.

My grandson Josh departed this life on November 4th, in a moment of pain that felt too great for him to bear. Now we bear the pain for him. We are all devastated. He was gentle, loving, kind, sensitive. He loved animals, especially his kitties.

JOSH BARNES - August 28, 1992 to November 4, 2024

Josh and I spent time together when he was a child, as kids and grandmas do. He and I and my big black wolf-dog, Pup, often walked along the log train trails that weave through Port Alberni. Josh appreciated the beauty of nature even as a child.

He loved animals. When he was little, he had a collection of stuffed monkeys and always had one in his hand. He loved the family dogs and cats, especially his own kitties as an adult: Casper, Noodle and Pancake.

He was always very kind, especially to animals and the small children I used to babysit. He loved to read, and especially loved the Shonen Jump comic book series about Japan. Every Friday, if he had had a “successful” week at school, I would pick him up and we would go buy the latest issue. Of course, he always had a successful week, because I am a soft touch, like most grandmas. From these books, he expressed an interest in learning Japanese and taught himself a few key phrases.

Josh was eight around that time. One afternoon, we went down to the Quay to get some ice cream. The woman vendor was a person of Japanese ancestry and Josh walked up to her and greeted her with “Nee ha.” The woman was so surprised and pleased that a young child not only had taken the time and interest to learn that phrase, but was also able to offer it to her unprompted. She was impressed. That was Josh.

As he grew up, that same regard for people was there – his kindness, the ability to accept people as they were, where they were at. He was a known and friendly figure at the Quay, and he loved his job at the Starboard Grill. He loved his motorcycle and taking long drives out into the countryside.

He had a quirky sense of humour, a kind and gentle heart, and the sweetest smile. Every tribe has its magic person, and Josh was ours. He adored his family, especially his mom and siblings, and we adored him.

I have a memory of him one time when we were saying goodbye. Our eyes meet – his so clear, honest and open. Smiling, he half-turns away, to go inside, then looks back. He raises his hand in a motionless farewell that stops time for a moment that will live in my heart forever – our beautiful boy, poised as lightly as a dancer on the earth, lovingly saying goodbye.

Nothing but tears and a whole lot of love in our family since he left us.