On the street, passing villagers ask
"how are you?" and the expected response
is 'Fine, thanks,' even if one is hobbling,
and the other already walking away
before I can ask them the same.
For how is there time, as we're
rushing off to our various errands, to say,
(though sometimes I try): "It is so beautiful
today, it makes my heart sing" or "When
I saw the eagle fly across the harbour,
my heart flew along with him, for just
a little way."
We generally have an unspoken agreement
not to mention trump, covid, or the climate crisis,
the intense heat, the wildfires,
the horrifying floods,
houses and whole towns chest-deep in water,
the horrifying floods,
houses and whole towns chest-deep in water,
climate refugees already
on the move, though leaders stay tight-lipped
about the state of things, as if the world
were not crumbling and melting
and sliding into the sea.
and sliding into the sea.
Wouldn't they be shocked
if I stopped right there
on the sidewalk, and said: All my life
I've loved people who never felt loved enough.
I gave all that I had, though it seems to be
forgotten, suffered many losses,
yet stayed grateful for the beauty
all around me, and the gifts I've
been given. From where I was to
where I am now was an amazing journey,
for which I'm thankful, and I'm tired now,
my quiet heart at peace.
But "Fine, thanks," I say, smiling,
which is likely a relief
to those who ask.
Inspired by "List of Things to Say Instead of I'm Fine" by Marlin M. Jenkins.
How are you has become a cordial thing to say but, often people don't really want to know. Perhaps, they fear they won't know how to respond. I hear you my friend.
ReplyDeleteI forget who wrote it but I've lived by it:
ReplyDelete"Don't tell your friends about your indigestion.
'How are you?' is a Greeting not a Question."
Greetings serve the purpose of preparing the brain to listen and converse. If we just leaped right in "Let me tell you about..." other people wouldn't be paying attention to what we were saying. So every culture evolves a few throwaway phrases that usually mean something nice, though they don't have to mean anything at all, that really mean "Let's converse."
People have tried alternatives to the "Fine" that merely means "I think I'm capable of conversing," like "My cow's just entered college," and reported amusingly non-comprehending responses. It's probably just as well not to waste words about the beauty of the landscape at this stage of a conversation.
Though noticing this kind of thing is probably a bit of a bonding routine for introverts.
PK
Exactly right. The question is disingenuous.
ReplyDelete