I learned at the cinema to dream
how my future would be, back when
life was as cold as a convent in mid-winter,
back when fever dreams were mortal sins,
back when my experiment in being a mystic
went all awry.
It all turned out so differently from what I'd dreamed.
I said this to a friend last week, adding
"I never could have dreamed it
the way it's been,"
and she shook her head in wonderment,
"I never could have dreamed it
the way it's been,"
and she shook her head in wonderment,
with big eyes, having read my memoir.
I had a fling or two, with no finesse. I experimented
with domesticity in prison garb and broke free
like an alligator on the run from men with spears.
Nowadays I've turned the volume low. I take pills
that don't remedy the pain. I've learned that
only dogs know how to truly love.
I'll never make my earlier mistakes again.
Ha. Shay's Word List took me down an unexpected path. I love when that happens. It was the cold as a convent that got me going.
( I scooped the Fitzgerald quote above Shay's poem and changed it a bit to fit mine - I haven't read her poem yet, of course, as I didn't want to be influenced.) But the alligator line made me think of her. Smiles.)
Oh! I remember the fear of the mortal sin! Love your little dog with the wagging tail and you're right about dogs but you should never say never!!
ReplyDeleteThey say that we keep being faced with the same problem until we learn how to deal with it. Once done--and that makes it sound easy and it isn't--we really don't make that particular mistake again, as you've written here. Or so the bromide goes.
ReplyDeleteI experimented / with domesticity in prison garb and broke free / like an alligator on the run from men with spears... people take entire books to say what you've said in 2 lines... am glad freedom from such domesticity came...
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I remember those teen cinema days -- sitting there watching movies, contemplating future! I love the 'domesticity in prison garb' and what comes after. A clever use of the words!
ReplyDeleteVery well done and i love the forlorn way you let your feelings and emotions flow. This really works and it takes me back to a simpler time.
ReplyDeleteI love the pup wagging his tail!!! You captured so much of the spirit .. so much of what it takes to overcome!!!! Morph into your/self. And you have quite wondrously, Sherry.
ReplyDelete"It all turned out so differently from what I'd dreamed." I've thought this myself many times and wonder that I still have arrived to where I am, such as I am, to enjoy what I have been given, including the love of a furry pup!
ReplyDeleteBlessed are those who truly can keep from making the same mistakes again!
ReplyDeletePK
It seems like life is a lot of learning from our mistakes! That wagging tail dog made me smile!
ReplyDelete"I experimented
ReplyDeletewith domesticity in prison garb and broke free
like an alligator on the run from men with spears."
Great line! Along with this:
" I've learned that
only dogs know how to truly love."
Life often doesn't turn out the way we dreamt it. Always searching for the elusive dream. We chase it or does it chase us? I think we all have a bit if mystic in us.
ReplyDeleteI had to smile about the alligators.
Truedessa