Transformation

source

I.
Music was the sound track of our lives.
Those old tunes take me back to
those bright days when we were young
and all our songs were still
waiting to be sung.

I could look back and see only mistakes,
the ups and downs and inevitable heartbreaks,
but all that time my heart was being honed
the way a carver frees a butterfly
too long encased in stone.

Inspired by "Music for Guitar and Stone" by Ruth Shwarz


II.

Looking back at a life that began
with years of trauma,
and the inevitability of
the poor choices that followed,
one might see only mistakes.

They asked, back then,
"what's wrong with you?"
The question they should have asked
is "what happened to you?"
Then I might have known
what to answer.

Now I look back in wonder
that, despite all the poor choices
(that I didn't even know were choices),
my life has been so full of wonder:
the gentle people who came my way
and showed me another way to live,
the inner quest that strove for freedom,
my life-changing odyssey to the sea,
and all that followed after -
the fact that I left pain behind
and that there has been
so much laughter.


Inspired by Oprah's interview on Dr. Oz where she described how we are impacted by childhood trauma, the question in italics is one she quoted from her book "What Happened To You?" which really resonated with me, a child of trauma who endured more trauma in my young adult years. I can never regret those painful years though, much as I wish they might have been kinder, because they gave me my four children, who made the journey with me and who are all amazing.