Day Eleven
When I was young, and so badly wanted a partner to share life with, I was never able to think - much less say - why someone should choose me. I hoped they would, of course, but I feared that, once they knew me, they would find me wanting, unlovable, not enough.
Anyone I admired, I ran from; never could I set my sights that high. I attracted what you might expect: emotionally unavailable, cruel, using people who betrayed me and broke my heart till I didn't want the pain any more. I gave up on finding love. A big black wolf taught me how love was supposed to be. But by then I had given up on finding love with a human. That is why I mourned his death so hard, and am mourning still.
Now that I know my worth, this is what I might have said, had I had a different beginning in life:
- I have a kind heart.
- I don't like confrontation or discord.
- Peacefulness is more necessary to me than love (but I find love everywhere, by loving the whole world).
- I like to help people.
- I love to give people gifts.
- I have a zany sense of humour, and I cackle.
- I am very broad-minded.
- I have respect and great empathy for other cultures, in this Euro-dominated, racist society we live in. I don't see "colour"; I see people.
- I have great hope that global consciousness will evolve in time to save the planet.
- I have great fear that it won't.
- Don't even get me started on donald trump.
- I love dogs more than people.
- I love people more than scorpions, but with the same wariness extended to both. Smiles.
No one picked me; but after I chose myself, life got a lot happier.
Day Eleven of Wild Writing with Laurie Wagner
I really did not like this particular day of writing and had a hard time with it. I had a hard time thinking why I should be picked. I enjoyed reading yours....and they do express you. You do are such a peaceful person, for sure; you do have a kind heart; and I have been a recipient of your gifts in various forms!! Smiles.
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ReplyDeleteI like this prompt and find this kind of list interesting. Maybe I will not like it so much in two days when I have to write to it. Your list makes me hope that one day I can meet you in person. As for the last item on your list, it made me smile.
ReplyDeleteI would LOVE to meet you, kiddo. Come visit, once travel is possible again. Planes come right here to Long Beach. LOL.
ReplyDeleteSherry, you have mastered the art of autobiographic poetry. I feel I see you completely in this short synopsis of who you are. I'm soooo glad you learned to love yourself. I know you are also loved by many.
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