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Monday, May 4, 2020

Pick Me, She Said - Never

                         
          Day Eleven

          When I was young, and so badly wanted a partner to share life with, I was never able to think - much less say - why someone should choose me. I  hoped  they would, of course, but I feared that, once they knew me, they would find me wanting, unlovable, not enough.

           Anyone I admired, I ran from; never could I set my sights that high. I attracted what you might expect: emotionally unavailable, cruel, using people who betrayed me and broke my heart till I didn't want the pain any more. I gave up on finding love. A big black wolf taught me how love was supposed to be. But by then I had given up on finding love with a human. That is why I mourned his death so hard, and am mourning still.

Now that I know my worth, this is what I might have said, had I had a different beginning in life: 

  1. I have a kind heart.
  2. I don't like confrontation or discord.
  3. Peacefulness is more necessary to me than love (but I find love everywhere, by loving the whole world).
  4. I like to help people.
  5. I love to give people gifts.
  6. I have a zany sense of humour, and I cackle.
  7. I am very  broad-minded. 
  8. I have respect and great empathy for other cultures, in this Euro-dominated, racist society we live in. I don't see "colour"; I see people.
  9. I have great hope that global consciousness will evolve in time to save the planet.
  10. I have great fear that it won't.
  11. Don't even get me started on donald trump.
  12. I love dogs more than people.
  13. I love people more than scorpions, but with the same wariness extended to both. Smiles.
No one picked me; but after I chose myself, life got a lot happier.

Day Eleven of Wild Writing with Laurie Wagner


5 comments:

  1. I really did not like this particular day of writing and had a hard time with it. I had a hard time thinking why I should be picked. I enjoyed reading yours....and they do express you. You do are such a peaceful person, for sure; you do have a kind heart; and I have been a recipient of your gifts in various forms!! Smiles.

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  3. I like this prompt and find this kind of list interesting. Maybe I will not like it so much in two days when I have to write to it. Your list makes me hope that one day I can meet you in person. As for the last item on your list, it made me smile.

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  4. I would LOVE to meet you, kiddo. Come visit, once travel is possible again. Planes come right here to Long Beach. LOL.

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  5. Sherry, you have mastered the art of autobiographic poetry. I feel I see you completely in this short synopsis of who you are. I'm soooo glad you learned to love yourself. I know you are also loved by many.

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