I was fourteen when poems started pouring through me. An English teacher encouraged me, and submitted some work for me. The one critical comment that came back was "I hope you arent going to be the kind of poet who glories in being obscure." I never forgot it.
That comment may be why I have so rarely bothered submitting my work. I think sometimes critics think they must always be critical. I get far more gratification from sharing my work online and am grateful for those who take the time to read it.
I was taught that feedback should always be respectful and constructive. Words have the power to uplift, or drag someone down. I keep in mind that a person is putting his heart out there, along with his words. I can almost always find something positive to say. If i read something that disturbs me, i simply scroll away without comment.
I keep in mind that someone who uses words harshly is likely coming from a place of inner pain. If directed at me, i try using kindness in that instance, and find a point i can empathize with in what they say. I like living in a world that is kind. It pains me that there is so much unhappy rhetoric going on these days in the media. It drags our spirits down. Out in the big world, toxic rhetoric is having its hey-day.
In our community, i value that comments are usually supportive and affirmative. We have own little world in here. We can keep it a kind one.
For Magaly's interactive Moonlight Musings.
I do agree about using kind words. We are all sensitive human beings, and really in the blogosphere nothing good comes from harshness. Blogging and sharing should be fun. I am sorry you met a harsh critic early in life, Sherry. I had an art teacher like that in college, and I have never forgotten nor had confidence in doing any kind of visual art again.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Constructive criticism helps the person whose work is being read and the individual doing the critiquing. We learn a lot from reading other people's work with brain and heart. And if one has nothing valuable to say, better save the oxygen or ink or pixels.
ReplyDeleteSadly, not everyone follows this rules. And in the cyber-world this can get very problematic. Still, like your piece suggests, we can help each other out by letting things go if we are the less infuriated party.
Teachers words have so much power!
ReplyDeleteOur words do have power and in the words of Uncle Ben "With great power comes great responsibility" So it is definitely best to use that power for good. I too try to focus on the positive when reading the work of others. To give encouraging feedback and support. And I agree that the best option is to return kindness when presented with negativity.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true Sherry. I think honey is much more nurturing that sour apples. Kindness is a blessed thing, and sometimes there are souls that are in desperate need of it. I love your poetic voice Sherry. It is wise, truthful, and beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that people are respectful, friendly and kind keeps me loyal to PU.
ReplyDeleteYou are a great example of how we should comment on other's blogs. I'm aware that sometimes (maybe often) I've not written something very worthy. Yet, you always find something nice to say or at least something neutral. I like that.
Constructive criticism can open the door to improvement, new vision of one's writing. I just can't leave an ugly comment. It doesn't help in any way. I am so grateful for interaction that helps me grow.
ReplyDeleteWhat most appeals to me about your writing is your voice of kindness. It needs a great heart to feel that place of inner pain of a harsh person. This much understanding is so much needed in today's world. So many things to learn from you, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteYour opening paragraph resonates with me, Sherry, I had a similar experience. At that age, any criticism is painful. I submit regularly, with a little success, but mostly rejections. I also prefer the gratification from sharing work online and agree about using kindness. I usually comment on poetic techniques and how effectively they have been used.
ReplyDeleteI wish for that kinder world too. And remembering that there absolutely has to be some sort of pain or trauma inspiring the ugly helps me cool off enough to find my spirit of empathy again, and seek a better course of action than just lashing out in return.
ReplyDeleteBeing relatively new to the blogging world and having the courage to expose my most intimate thoughts and words, I value constructive feedback from all of you. I love my Viking husband, but he is a man of few words. I may get wow, that's really good, but seldom anything insightful that helps me to grow. You all mean so much to me, and I cherish you!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Sherry, that we must strive to live in a world that is kind and forgiving. People who criticise negatively almost certainly coming from a place of pain.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think kindness is paramount in all areas of life. That comment you found so discouraging when young could have been expressed much more kindly; as it was, I hear a nastiness in the way it was articulated, which pretty much destroys whatever validity the point may have had.
ReplyDeleteIt was the editor or whoever at the publishing house who sent that back and the teacher passed it on to me.........I have never been very obscure, my problem being that I likely reveal too much, lol.
Delete"I hope you arent going to be the kind of poet who glories in being obscure." Wow, this is certainly not a comment to forget! The sad part is that it came from a teacher, someone who has the power and privilege to encourage a budding talent.
ReplyDeleteI am certainly glad you decided to share your meaningful and relevant poetry here on the blogs. I really admire and learn from your poems that address environmental issues.
you are a beacon, Sherry ~
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