These Days.......

Stuart Madden

These days

I often find

my thoughts

returning

to dusty mesas

dotted with dry scrub

along the arroyo

through dry, sandy gorges

you once told me

was a river long ago

In reverie

I circle sleepy rooftops

finding yours

where we made love

one afternoon

your face so dark and beautiful

above me

those summer days

that ended

way too soon

Those days

you were an eagle

soaring / captive

caught somewhere

between the earth

and sky

while I caught my breath

and emptied out my being

into the wonder

of becoming

you and I

Now my spirit

sometimes walks

on summer mornings

- dew-fresh scent

of tall marsh grasses,

willow trees,

fresh lake ripples

lapping gently

on the shore -

the scent of

all the mornings

I remember

and I long to walk

beside the lake

once more

In memory

you turn

your slow smile

on me

always a bird

alighting on your hand

I hear again the coo

of doves at daybreak

and somewhere -

another time,

another land -

"Blackbird" is singing

in the dark of night

while two lonely seekers

try to hold their pain

at bay

by clinging

to each other

way too tight

unable to find words

to make it right

and somehow

lose their way

The dove

lost its mate

and flew

but keeps on

circling

     circling

back to you

never very far

from where you are

if you

but knew

Through all

those years

I saw your beauty

plain

and now I am

remembering

remembering

again

The single step

that started

my long journey

the thousand miles

it took

to bring me home

All I was

searching for

I found

within me

forever now

without the need

to roam

I have one more 

hug

to give you

in this lifetime

one more time 

to see

the smile start

in your eyes

If we never

meet again

know I have

loved you

as no other

all the seasons

of our lives

For the Poetry Pantry at Poets United. I wrote this poem in 1994, remembering a man I loved in 1980's Kelowna.