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Darkling the night spins its web of stars,
Hazy the moon in its tangerine shroud.
Owl Woman calls out from the forest deep:
Waken, all dreamers, from your sleep.
I rise, all unwilling, from my wildish dreams.
The midnight is peopled with wild creatures' screams.
The trees lie in wait with their strangling roots,
ready to trip my scruffy boot.
The forest moans low as the fog moves in.
When I look up, the starry heavens spin.
Dark and drear, the ground I tread upon;
When I turn to go back, the path is gone.
The midnight is peopled with wild creatures' screams.
The trees lie in wait with their strangling roots,
ready to trip my scruffy boot.
The forest moans low as the fog moves in.
When I look up, the starry heavens spin.
Dark and drear, the ground I tread upon;
When I turn to go back, the path is gone.
The opening phrase has been nibbling at my mind for a few days. And the moon, last week, did have an ominous orangey shroud. So when Kerry set us the challenge at Toads to use pathetic fallacy, and I saw the opening lines in draft, a light bulb slowly flickered on above my head. (Trust me, the phrase pathetic fallacy has great subtext for me these days!)
I love everything about this poem, Sherry. The word 'darkling' is one of my favourites and you have worked from that inspired first line to paint a very detailed image of the night, imbued with mystery. The pathetic fallacy (love your aside btw) is included with a very subtle touch, and it certainly builds the mood very well. But most of all, I love the structure and cadence of your whole poem, the rhyme and phrasing is excellent.
ReplyDeleteLove this beautiful night life you've described.
ReplyDeleteWhat Kerry said. I love the waking of each element that heeds the call of Owl woman. I suspect this will lead to an epic arrival at the meeting and meeting and aftermath.
ReplyDeleteYour use of pathetic fallacy seems effortless. I get a foreboding, eery feel from this description of the night.
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderfully lyrical, Sherry--and you use the idea of the pathetic fallacy in a rather eerie way--a kind of Hansel and Gretel where the path disappears --don't both with bread crumbs and birds! Really well done. Thanks. K.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I agree with Kerry 100% This is an excellent fantastical piece and I enjoyed it thoroughly, Sherry!
ReplyDeleteHazy the moon in it's tangerine shroud! Wow
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
=^..^=
night in the veil of mystery speaks in an uncanny voice...wow...i like the owl woman image...what a beauty you've created Sherry
ReplyDeleteYou're in your starry element here, Sherry, this has the comfortable stride of practiced charm. Such assurance is so vital when the path simply disappears at its depth. Fine stuff.
ReplyDeleteYour pathetic fallacy is used so smoothly. The picture of the night is revealed so nicely! Wonderful write Sherry!
ReplyDeleteHank
I love to hear of those trees waiting to trip. Your poem reads so smoothly, the meter and rhyme are done so cleverly. Very nice poem, Sherry.
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My new favorite! I love this one-the web of stars~
ReplyDeleteIt is gorgeous and reads like a new fairy tale~
Wondrous~
yes! each of your recent writes have been painted, captured through the eyes of your souls present state. what captured me was the last line...when i turned to go back, the path is gone.
ReplyDeleteof course the whole of this speaks to my soul, also
gracias mi amiga
the midnite is people with wild things...ha...yes and i love it...i like to sit on the porch and listen to the night whisper....under that web of stars....
ReplyDeleteI was also caught by the word darkling... There is absolutely neither anything pathetic or faulty about this poem! ;) It is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteLove this piece! Love orange, moon, and the path is gone...no, you can't go home again....perhaps the path disappears, so encourage us to move forward.....still waiting for my birds to return....smooth out those feathers. I guess they are shy....
ReplyDeleteThe old path is always gone. We must make new ones. It def looks like your muse is awake now. So nice how you are always inspired by nature.
ReplyDeleteI could feel the pain of your foot in boot getting snared by the tree :-)
ReplyDeleteSherry ~~~ at her finest!
ReplyDeleteI love this, Sherry! Excellent!
ReplyDeleteWow - yes! The first stanza is a jewell all by itself and the ending -the path gone… I know it should be "nightmarish" but it is so beautiful - it makes me think you are on the right path (perhaps against your will) ?
ReplyDeletenibbling til you had to bite back :). love this one, Sherry ~
ReplyDeleteVery real feeling of dreams to this one, Sherry--and that opening line, I can see how it would beg for a setting like this. You bring us not just the wild freedom of the woods at night, but its ominous sense of having so much hidden, as well.
ReplyDeletegreat use of pathetic fallacy...I like the dark dreamy state you create.
ReplyDeleteThat first stanza is so beautiful...
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