The model of a Japanese Zen priest,
borrowed from The Reformed Buddhist
Kerry's intriguing Sunday challenge at Imaginary Garden With Real Toads is a Chinese koan. Her instructions and historical references can be found here.
The sound of rice swishing in the sorting basket
is like small pebbles in a tilted rain-stick.
Is that the scent of fresh rain, through the open doorway?
The rice is full of imperfections today.
Oh, how lovely. Your third line is a surprise, and created such visual impact - I could see the moment so clearly. And I loved the subtlety of the last line. Excellent.
ReplyDeletelovely take Sherry.monsoon is approaching here.and I adore the smell of rain-soaked earth!
ReplyDeleteLoved what you did with this form, Sherry! A wonderful write.
ReplyDeleteWow, you did a killer job with this one! Amazing... The third line took us elsewhere and then back to reality...Bravo!
ReplyDeleteThat's very good, Sherry!
ReplyDeleteYour Koan tantatalises all the senses magically! Really beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful ~ I love the last line ~
ReplyDeleteOh, wow, Sherry!! I love the variation in line three...the harmony of all the lines together and the suggestion of the state of things in your closing line. This is brilliant!!
ReplyDeleteI like what you did with this form--which still seems a little mystifying to me! I have to go read more about it.
ReplyDeleteI love the way the 1st 2 lines open up the sense of sound, the next one tingles with smell, and the last line paints a picture.
ReplyDeleteVery sensual indeed :)
This is wonderful Sherry..The senses are engaged in sound, sight, and smell. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteWonderful job with this form!
ReplyDeleteFantastic read. I showed my partner this.
ReplyDelete"Look! Someone wrote a poem about rice..."
oh! how beautiful! i want to smell rice- and rain-soaked earth.
ReplyDelete