Grace, over at Real Toads, has given one of her inimitable challenges, (and that is definitely the right word for it), to compose a series of no less than three tankas, which are five lines with syllable counts of 5-7-5-7-7, with a turning point between the upper phrase and lower phrase.
I was quite pleased to have managed one, but decided to try for three and see what happens.
When cares weigh down my
shoulders like an albatross
till I nearly fall,
I raise my old eyes, seeking,
to the glory of the skies.
*** *** *** ***
Horses drink deeply
at the trough of fulfilment
then turn to their oats
with pleasure - never let them
see the carrots in your hand.
*** *** *** ***
Snow falling outside
covers the cedars with lace.
All thoughts of spring are
put back on the shelf until
the groundhog appears again.
*** *** *** ***
By George, I think I've Got It!!!
Wonderful Sherry! I love these; they outline the features and fill in with sentiment! Yours are beautiful~
ReplyDelete"Until the groundhog appears again" — I love it!
ReplyDeleteBy George, I think you really did got it. LOL
K
cuz oats are only a pleasure until they see those carrots...mmmmmm...mmmmmm. All three are spectacular, vivid and beautiful beyond the number of lines and syllables allowed.
ReplyDeleteNo idea who George is, but I'm quite sure you've still got it! Three very different, and very good tankas Sherry!
ReplyDeleteSherry, I think the Tanka and you make good partners. These are evocative and interesting, in addition to following the strict form. Amazing!
ReplyDeleteAwww lovely, well done.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the horses would need to see the carrots Sherry... they'd smell 'em a mile away LOL
Lovely tankas. This was a fun exercise.
ReplyDeleteThe last one is so beautiful, but I think the first is my favorite.
i like the one about the horses best
ReplyDeletethree cultural revolutionary tanka
Look at you writing 3 tanka (I am still struggling with mine). I do like them all specially the second one ~
ReplyDeleteSherry, you have nailed the Tanka form. I like each of them...bravo to you.
ReplyDeleteSherry, you have nailed the Tanka form. I like each of them...bravo to you.
ReplyDeleteyes, i can hear you objecting, but oh sherry, you are good at this. keep on, please.
ReplyDeleteSherry, these are so wonderful, each in their own right! OH and I got tagged in blogger-tag. I'm tagging you if you want to play. NO PRESSURE:) The details are here:
ReplyDeletehttp://anotherporch.blogspot.com/2012/03/blogger-tag.html
Love these...love all of these, but the first one really speaks to me..
ReplyDeleteI love all of these, particularly the first wherein the weighty albatross reminds one to look to the skies.
ReplyDeleteReally lovely, Sherry. The second one made me chuckle.
ReplyDeleteI can picture the lace-covered cedars and the horses drinking at the trough of fulfilment - stunning images, Sherry!
ReplyDeleteLove your images, and I see you know my horses! :-) Wonderfully done my dear!
ReplyDeleteLovely! I truly enjoyed the horse advice. Sounds a lot like goats. :-)
ReplyDeleteYour third is especially striking, with the lace and waiting for the ground again. Lovely all!
ReplyDeletei love number one.
ReplyDeletethe weight of the albatros turns to flight and lift in the end.
such power.
An albatross on the shoulders is a wonderfully descriptive image - and I love how you end it on a note of hope.
ReplyDeleteThe second - ha, yes, this is actually true (but I usually hide an apple :)
The lace image in the third and putting spring being put on a shelf is wonderful.
I really liked these.
These are totally lovely. Bravo - Tanka is good for you.
ReplyDeleteI love these, especially that second one! It reminds me of those Zen koans!
ReplyDelete