Friday, August 9, 2013

The Song of the Sea



If you are one to whom the sea has called
in her insistent voice upon the shore,
you with the song of the sea in your very blood
and the memory of those wild beaches all before,

you may try to resist the longing in your soul,
the remembered taste of salt upon your tongue,
but she will set up such a clamor deep within,
you must surrender to all you have begun.

Her call as persistent as the waves upon the shore,
her beauty as a beacon to my soul,
I am returning home, to love her even more,
and live more years with mind and spirit whole.

The below poem is the free verse snippet I used to create the above version, posted for Gay's prompt at  dVerse Poets Pub: Form For All :  to take a free verse poem of one's own and re-write it in rhyme and meter. 

When the sea calls, 
you must answer,
if you are an ocean person,
with the song of the sea
in your blood
and the memory of salt-air
on your tongue.

You may try to resist,
for fear of uprooting
your comfortable existence,
but she will then set up
a clamor in your soul
until you heed her call.

She has called.
I am ready, now,
to answer.

Well. Given my mind-numbing fatigue these days, this is the best I can do. A cool exercise, though. Do check out the responses to the prompt over at dVerse, some great poems are being written over there.


17 comments:

  1. Sherry, I loved both the free form and the form poems... actually - hold your breath - I liked the first one better! It fleshed out the magnetic pull of the sea better, and it flowed like the sea itself, haunting. I could almost hear the siren's song in the distance, and the clang of a buoy. Really lovely, both. Amy

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wonderful piece of poetry.. the first has such a classical tug on it, and with the sea, iambs roll so well like waves.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is quite beautiful, Sherry. I prefer the free verse but it lent itself well to rhyme and meter.

    ReplyDelete
  4. beautiful poems, my fav.-second, but first really gives the greatness to sea!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sherry, there is no more beautiful place to be
    than somewhere close to the wonderful sea.

    You nailed it in both versions!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sherry,

    I always enjoy your writings..do you hear the water calling you?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nothing like the call of the sea. Gorgeous Sherry!

    ReplyDelete
  8. How gorgeous! Those incidental anapests are like waves accenting the iambs that give it the very feel of the sea. For that reason, I think the rhythmic rhymed one is superior because of the added dimension and music in it. Glorious work, Sherry. So glad you linked!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's beautifully done. Reading people's posts, including this one, I am rapidly being converted to metre! The metric versions of the poems are so beautiful that the free verse begins to seem prosey alongside it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Very nice--it reminded me of the passage in Moby Dick, where Ishmael remarks on how everyone, every path, tends toward the water. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  11. "in her insistent voice upon the shore"...
    Well, my dear, John Masefield had nothing on you. Your revised version got me "right where I live" and now I'm homesick again, and your original poem did nothing to relieve it.
    The homesickness will pass, as soon as I remember that my fibromyalgia pain is worse in the humidity. But right now, the sea calls to me.
    Sigh.
    K

    ReplyDelete
  12. voices from the depth of the ocean:)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thoroughly enjoyed...I did prefer the rhymed one, it had the musicality of the ocean which holds the mystery of it too... the free verse is good too but it's the first one for me! Wonderful poem!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ibelieve if we sit quiet and listen, we all will hear the waves and feel the tickle of the bubbles where we all floated about when first born. The sea is calling, the nest of our beginnings. We shall all meet again. And, if there's something before that, we shall still meet again.

    Gracias amiga

    ReplyDelete
  15. For me, the rhythm of the first one better captures the beauty, and the lure, of the sea but like them both. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  16. her beauty a beacon of my soul...
    love that...i hear her call for sure...
    and i really enjoyed the rhythm you achieved...it alluded me...i just couldnt get it right...

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love his poem. I am sea person. I grew up on the Atlantic and live with the sea surrounding me now.

    ReplyDelete

I so appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Thank you so much. I will be over to see you soon!