Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Opening Heaven's Gate


[image from google]


for Eric

Blackbirds wheel across the sky.
My mind goes back to summer days
when doves cooed at daybreak, eagles flew,
and my whole heart belonged to you.

You sprang the gate and out dove flew.
No more we'd hear its gentle coo,
and years and miles have grown between
us, and all we might have been.

Never again those mornings sweet,
my heart turned your way with every beat.

###################################
and, as a pantoum:

Blackbirds wheel across the sky.

My mind goes back to summer days
when doves cooed at daybreak, eagles flew,
and my whole heart belonged to you.

My mind goes back to summer days.
You sprang  dove's gate and out it flew.
Though my whole heart belonged to you,
no more we'd hear its gentle coo.

You sprang dove's gate and out it flew,
and years and miles have grown between.
No more we heard its gentle coo,
nor found all that we might have been.

Years and miles have grown between.
Never again those mornings sweet,
Us, and all we might have been,
My heart turned your way with every beat.

Never again those mornings sweet,
When doves cooed at daybreak, eagles flew,
My heart turned your way with every beat.
Blackbirds wheel; I remember you.

16 comments:

  1. I love the longing I felt with this poem. It to me feels as a missed chance of love. I would consider it a sweet sorrow. Its a lovely poem Sherry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, this broke my heart, Sherry; yet, as Robert said, it has a sweetness to it. Bittersweet. Love's possibilities are endless; so, too, are its outcomes.

    Have to say, I liked the first version better, but brava! for going after the form! (I'm so chicken, BRAWWWWK!) Amy

    ReplyDelete
  3. the pantoum is a perfect form for you, sherry. longing, nature, beauty and all that. this is beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  4. "My heart turned your way with every beat" is a great line, Sherry.
    — K

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Sherry, so exposing and real! I loved it, but could feel the pain. The time of loss and the stars not alining~ You did a great job with this form! The sorrow is so raw and real! Great job~

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sherry, I hear your cooing in this, it's a sad song of a mourning dove.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I enjoyed what you did with the sky and sky friends.

    ReplyDelete
  8. my heart turned your way with every beat...the strength of love and the longing for what might have been....lovely work

    ReplyDelete
  9. a sad song of a dove ... touching ... i loved the perfect way you have treated the form too ...

    ReplyDelete
  10. You create such vivid images in my mind. I can feel the blackbirds swirl in my mind and the longing touch of the poem.

    ReplyDelete
  11. That's beautiful. I only read the first version. I liked it so well, I didn't want to change anything.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I enjoyed the first one. Sometimes no amount of time can dull the pain of missing someone we love. Lovely prose.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yours is the poem with a story behind it :)
    Granny radar!! You are such a romantic...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Both are lovely and heartfelt but I do prefer the first one, especially:

    Blackbirds wheel across the sky

    ReplyDelete
  15. the blackbirds really have a power in stories.

    ReplyDelete

I so appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Thank you so much. I will be over to see you soon!