Friday, September 16, 2011

Another Pantoum

[image from google]


I woke at dawn and sprang from bed,
the day's delights spread all before,
went to the  threshold,  flung it wide
and found a moon outside my door.


The day's delights spread all before,
I asked had it been left behind,
that moon I found outside my door,
as night tiptoed across the fields.

I asked had it been left behind,
or stayed, a silvery offering,
when night tiptoed across the fields,
to grace my day with all life yields.

It stayed, a silvery offering,
bearer of dreams  outside my door,
to grace my day with all life yields.
I could not ask for beauty more.

Bearer of  dreams  outside my door,
when I went to the threshold, flung it wide,
I could not ask for beauty more,
when I woke at dawn and crossed the floor.

[Again some liberties, on the last line, to better satisfy the rhyming pattern. Totally illegal.]

20 comments:

  1. What a beautifully written poem, Sherry! The only thing that makes me love it leaving bed early is the encounter with the moon at times. Morning moon makes me believe it is like a mother, watching children's sleep and refusing to leave their side even when the day is up and they are fully awake.

    Kiss you girl. <3

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  2. Great find, that moon photo.
    And I'm very interested in the pantoum style of your poem. I've never tried it before, and I love the way you did it.
    So many new things, so little time. LOL
    Thanks, Sherry!!
    — K

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  3. This is just so 'kick-ass' good, Sherry. That image of the moon remains on the inner eye, like a beautiful memory. You are really making the writing of this tricky form look easy.

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  4. I agree, you make it seem so easy and yet, it truly isn't.
    Another lovely one from you Sherry, you're on a roll!

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  5. some downright magical images. night tiptoed across the fields... the moon left behind. it was enchanting. and wow, i see the 'risking for change' book with dorothy day on the cover. going to check it out. this is the first blog where i have ever seen dorothy other than my own.
    very pleased to meet you:)

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  6. Sherry this is amazing! Silver strands of words woven perfectly together.

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  7. You seem to write pantoums naturally. Bravo, my friend.

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  8. I was quite fixated on that moon ... mesmerizingly beautiful made larger than life by your words.

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  9. This is brilliant! The focus on the moon as it circles round, wonderful work!

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  10. This is a delightful read... you've captured the moment well and seemingly with such ease w/ pantoum form... love the first stanza.

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  11. Playful, alive, and in good form - I like the idea of moon at the door...

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  12. Can't beat moonlight for waxing lyrical about! ♥

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  13. you are unstoppable!!!!
    add another verse or two and illustrate this for a children's picture book. please?

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  14. This is wonderful! Tiptoeing moon indeed! I love this...!!!

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  15. Magical, Sherry. Simply magical. You are one of many people I know who are really in tune with the moon.

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  16. Beautifully written. I loved it from the very first line!

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  17. 'night tiptoed across the fields... the moon left behind...' Loved it all!!! WOW!

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  18. very very beautiful.typically Romantic.wonderful.

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  19. This is wonderful, sherry. You and pantoum are becoming truly companionable

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  20. Sherry, your poem is fantastic!! Loved the form. You are inspiring, perhaps I will try one. Your image fits perfectly! Have a wonderful day.

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I so appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Thank you so much. I will be over to see you soon!