Thursday, July 21, 2011

A River of Tears

[image from flickr.com]

Her eyes well up.
"The doctor says
there will be
no improvement.
His systems
are failing."

He opens his eyes
at noon
and asks me
"where have I been
this whole damned day?"
I say,
"you've been
snoozing."

He is practicing
for a very long sleep.

But Faiza
cannot possibly
prepare
for this parting.
It is too big.

All of her will
has been focussed
on keeping him alive,
and now it's
not working.

I tell her,
"We'll take it
one day at a time.
Bill is happy
at home, you love
and care for him
so well.
We'll do all
that we can
for as long
as we can,
while he is here."

I am grateful
God is taking
Bill first.
He would have
been lost
without Faiza.

Meanwhile
she is facing
losing the man
who is
the centre
of her world,
her reason for being.
A gaping void
yawns
just behind
his right shoulder,
ready to
swallow him up,
leaving behind only
his empty brown chair.

He looks up at me
helplessly.
"I'm cold, Sherry.
Always so cold."
I take him
a fuzzy blanket.
Everything can
be made better,
this particular moment,
with a fuzzy blanket.

He says,
"Thanks, sweetie.
I always love
to see you."
"I always love
to see you, too, Bill."

And I wonder
if I will
still see
this sweet, sweet man,
when I come back
next week.

7 comments:

  1. A gaping void
    yawns
    just behind
    his right shoulder,
    ready to
    swallow him up...

    These lines say it all for me Sherry.

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  2. Those same lines really got to me as well. This reminds me of when my father in law died. The gaping void is still there for my mother in law. Such a touching poem.

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  3. Loss is hard, even if you see it approaching. You can feel good that you brighten Bill's day when you are there. I'd guess he hasn't had many visitors lately. Thank you for helping these people out at this difficult time for them.

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  4. Hard to lose the ones we care deeply about. Yet, we also don't wish them to linger on and suffer.
    Gentle thoughts, precious moments.

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  5. Parting is always hard to prepare for...but preparing is a must for the soul...and letting that soul move on allows all to be a peace until together again.....I can feel the compassion in this piece of writing..thank you...bkm

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  6. I have been told, to prepare is to be completely in this present moment, and then we can go to the next present moment. You have done this, in your piece. And you will always remember that "present moment." It seems as we get older, there is so much "coming and going," and for us on this planet, it is hard to image a time when we will not be... but, yes Virginia it is true. I remember, when I was thirty I went to a parent/teacher meeting, and we had a therapist that day, who said it is time to prepare for your death. It was a good thing.

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  7. Sherry, I am revisiting this post. Loss defintely is just so damned hard!

    ReplyDelete

I so appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Thank you so much. I will be over to see you soon!